Sunday, October 21, 2018

But I Don't Want To (WW # 168)





Wendy and I host this linkup for
the sole purpose of supporting active women.
We thank you for linking your 
FITNESS  RELATED  POST  with us!

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My co-host Wendy is currently enjoying a much deserved break.  No doubt she'll have some fun things to share once she returns from her trip.  This week, I'm honored to have Kimberly from Kooky Runner stepping in as guest co-host.  I had the privilege of meeting this inspirational dynamo in Chicago this past summer.  Please make sure to stop by her blog and make her feel welcomed.



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I don't want to run.

There.  I said it.  In black and white, no less..

It's scary because it's the one thing I've identified most with for over ten years now.   HoHo RUNS.  I've been fighting this feeling for months thinking once the weather cooled I would feel different.  We've also been going through the stressful process of selling our home of nearly 20 years in order to purchase another on the lake, which is still not finalized...but we're closer.  It's left me exhausted, both physically and mentally.  Maybe once my life is settled, I'll feel the urge to run again?

The most obvious answer is that I need a break.  Yet, I took a break all summer.  Some weeks not running, some weeks clocking minimal miles - just enough so that I wouldn't be starting from zero if and when my mojo returned.  Another thought is that I should sign up for a race-cation in a really cool location.  Perhaps that would supply my lacking motivation?

Hello, HoHo?  We're waiting ...

I force myself to run.

My runs aren't terrible and I end up feeling grateful that I got out the door.  So I put my big girl panties on and make myself go.  If for nothing else...for the health benefits.  But I'm not getting the same satisfaction or sense of accomplishment that I once did.  I ran 5.1 miles on Tuesday morning in such warm and foggy conditions, that I passed on every opportunity to run until Sunday which thankfully dawned crisp and cool.  I had a well-paced, steady 10 mile run and returned feeling encouraged.  But this is typical.  The weekend feeling doesn't last throughout the week.  But you never know, maybe this time it will.

This being said, take all of it with a grain of salt [preferably on the rim of a margarita glass], I'm just as likely to say how much I adore running three days from now.  And if I do, that's fantastic!.  And if I don't, that's OK too.  It's just how I feel right now. and it felt wrong to type up a forced, sugar-coated, running-is-so-awesome post.  I hope I haven't come across as melancholy.  I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me because I am not sad.  I'm actually in a happy place and excited about moving to our new home.  I simply don't miss the running and racing right now.   If I did, I'd be out there doing it more. [Um...Duh|

So now, my big scary animal is out of the closet. 


And that's a wrap!



Do you ever go through periods where you force yourself to run?

Any tips for finding motivation?



56 comments:

  1. Yes, I absolutely go through phases of not wanting to run. (like all summer) I usually try to go out and do a new class or go for a bike ride. Then I start to miss running. It always has a way of sucking you back in

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    1. I've been so busy, I haven't taken the time to ride either. I just keep thinking when things settle down, I'll be OK.

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  2. So happy to co-host with you this week!

    YES to absolutely everything that you said in this post. I go through these phases about once or twice a year. Sometimes I try to focus on other forms of exercise like spinning. Eventually after a few weeks off, I feel the urge to run again. This year my whole mindset on running has shifted a bit. While I do enjoy the aspect of races - the runners, meeting up with friends, etc. - I do not enjoy racing. So since I'm no longer doing races for PRs, it makes it less stressful for me to go out and run since I'm not putting pressure on myself.

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    1. Yes, I think many of us put a lot of unnecessary pressure on ourselves to perform at a certain level. I'd like to get back to the pure enjoyment of running. I hope the cooler weather will help with that.

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  3. Well, I do find it harder when the weather isn't great. But mostly in the winter, as the days get shorter and I just totally battle with lack of energy.

    Sometimes you have to let things go to appreciate them. And if that doesn't happen, I'm sure you'll find something else that calls to you.

    Plus, selling & buying a house is super stressful. We'd lived in our house for 15 years before we moved here. We've actually been in this house over 9 years already . . . I swear I remember all the boxes from when we moved in!

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    1. I've done so much yard work! Fall is a hard time to be selling a house. Those leaves! And those never-ending limbs. UGH. I think if I can rest and reduce my stress level I'll be OK.

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  4. Sorry to hear about the blahs, I think they come to all of us. I signed up for that ultra I signed up for and then I had one good run on holiday and one awful one, which really upset me (esp because it was on holiday! and in a place I love to run! by the SEA!!) even though I was able to work out what went wrong very easily. Then I really could not face going out to club run on Tuesday, which is very unusual - I actually thought I must be sickening for something, though I proved not to be. It has come back now, even though I "jeffed" all week and I hope yours does too.

    Happy rest week to Wendy and I'm popping over to Kimberly now (I follow her anyway!).

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    1. I hope it's just a case of fatigue. Like I said, I had a good run today. It wasn't super speedy but the weather felt really nice. Maybe I can build off of that.

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    2. I'm sure you can. Once I'd had a decent one on Tuesday I got my confidence back after crying in one of my favourite parks in the world on Sunday!

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  5. I definitely lose my running mojo from time to time. Since you tried to maintain a minimal base this summer, maybe you shouldn't think of it as a real break -- you still felt like you "should" run. Maybe give yourself permission to not run at all and see what happens? I know that's scary, but ....

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    1. I did take several multi-week breaks without running over the summer. It would be a very scary prospect to take a whole month off. I'm not sure I could do it. LOL.

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  6. Right there with you, sistah. I brought my running shoes to Nashville, I planned a route, and nope, never ran. I did put the shoes to good use with all the walking we did. But it's not the same. I just don't care anymore. Who am I?

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    1. I'm well aware we all have seasons with running. I expect to get burned out from time to time. I've just never felt this much "I don't care" for this long.

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  7. I've gone through phases where I just didn't feel like running- usually for me it happens in the winter. It's good to back off a bit and see what happens. No point in forcing yourself to run right now if you're not feeling it!

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    1. My summer was so lackluster when it came to running. I took a lot of down time. Now, I feel like maybe if I force myself to run -- the mojo will return. We'll see.

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  8. Oh Holly Dear, you are being real, and you owe no one any apologies. If the mojo is on hiatus, so be it. Faking it (or forcing it) may just keep it away longer. Enjoy what you have going right now.....not everyone has the benefit of being happy without lacing up. The fact that those 10 miles weren't a struggle says it all ;-)

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    1. It's not always butterfly kisses. So I hope this post struck a chord with others who are struggling like me. We aren't alone.

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  9. I have definitely been there! When I feel that way, I turn to something else - yoga, High Intensity classes, biking. Usually the feeling comes back eventually. Sometimes its weather related, sometimes I'm just burned out!

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    1. I've been so busy that I haven't cycled much either. I think when things settle down, gotten some rest, and feel there is more time available - I'll be OK.

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  10. I feel like that too sometimes. I often feel our motivation to run or lack there of is magnified by our blogs since it is so focused on running. Sometimes there are just things in our life that we want to do more ( or are more important) and running becomes less and that's okay. Good luck with the houses. That is a major change! -M

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    1. You hit a nail on the head. It is magnified as running bloggers. I feel a certain responsibility to keep things positive and to try and be motivating for others. But, it's difficult when you really feel that way about your own running.

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  11. I know this not-wanting-to-run thing. I know it well. I do believe it is hormonally induced.I recommend just going with the flow rather than forcing it. I've removed all pace and distance pressures. I just run. Or walk. We'll see what happens now that I've got the 2 most motivating races in the world (to me) on tap. Should be interesting.

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    1. I admit to having blamed the hormones for it many, many times. Those stupid hormones (or lack thereof) keep me from getting a good night's sleep...and then it just goes downhill from there.

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  12. I don't often don't want to run, but when I do, I usually try something new - trail runs, relay races, triathlons...something out of my comfort zone. Hang in there. You will get your running mojo back!

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    1. I hope so. I would like to do some trail running but with my previously fractured feet...maybe that isn't a good idea.

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  13. Yes, I've had that feeling. I don't force things when I don't feel like running, and that helps. I always take breaks after races to let myself recover and get a break from the training schedule. Then I let myself tell myself when I'm ready. You've got a lot on your plate right now.

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    1. I was hoping my lengthy summer break would do the trick. I'm still holding out hope as the weather cools, my desire to run will heat up.

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  14. We've all had that feeling. A race-cation helps - come to nYC!!

    Only kidding.It also helps if I have someone to run with.It is tough on weekdays when I am on my own.

    We've been in our house 20 years and it is too big for the 2 of us but it's too stressful trying to get it in shape to sell so we're keeping it for now. We'd love to move closer to the lake. maybe someday.

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    1. I would love to run in NYC. So far, those darn lotteries haven't picked me. Fingers crossed. I can attest to the fact it has been super stressful to get our house ready for the market. I hope I never have to do it again.

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  15. I know so many people say running helps them through stressful times, but for me running is one of the last things I want to do when stressed/exhausted. I think sometimes we are just maxed out on stress and can't add a single bit more...even a "good stress" like running.

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    1. I agree. Running certainly helps you deal with stress, but overload is overload. When a run leaves you feeling nothing but cranky and irritated... something needs to give.

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  16. I always know I need a running break when I don't feel like running. I'm either sick or my running mojo is on the fritz. Don't fight it...let it come back naturally and it will be even sweeter when it does.

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    1. It's odd because you'd think I'd be ready to run after taking the summer as an "off" season.

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  17. Life works in cycles. I have times when I'm not really into it, but I just go out and run anyway. I haven't been racing a lot lately, and I'm finding that it's ok. We all probably get into our ruts, and I think stepping away for a bit will help you find a new loe or rediscover this one.

    Hang in there!

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    1. I'm still making myself go based on the fact I do feel better once I run. It's just really hard to get out of bed in the mornings. So, I'm trying the afternoons since it is now cooler.

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  18. I've had many a period like that in the last 5 years since I started running. Typically mine was weather related and signing up for a fall goal race is what helped keep me on track. Since that doesn't seem to be the case for you, have you tried purchasing a new running gadget? Sometimes when I'm really struggling I get myself a new toy to use for running and that makes me feel more inspired to run.

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    1. I'm always up for new gadgets but I'm not sure there is something I don't have. LOL. I really think it is weather related (mostly). And maybe fatigue.

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  19. Maybe if fall sticks the weekend feeling will? The weather can't help any of it. Good luck selling your house
    Love the shoe photo

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    1. I think if the weather stays nice, it will definitely help. I can't take another warm and humid run and will not force a run in those conditions.

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  20. I've been there many times and personally, I find that when I force myself to run it only makes it worse. You've got a lot going on... just run when you feel like it and when you don't... well, so be it. This is the very reason I haven't been blogging as much and have actually considered blogging about other topics. There is more to life than running and right now you're just enjoying those things more! It's all good! Xoxo

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    1. I feel the same way. There is just more life happening right now and running is not my main priority. Not to say it won't return...

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  21. The fact that you could still run 10 miles means that your fitness is still there, which is great. Motivation ebbs and flows, and its only to listen to your body and run when you want to.

    Thanks for still hosting the link-up!

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    1. One reason I go ahead and run (at least a couple of times) is that I don't want to lose my fitness. Regaining it is not an easy feat.

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  22. I've had times where I want to run much less and do more of other activities, and I listen to that and honor it. The desire always comes back naturally when I let myself have time off!

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    1. That's what I tried to do over the summer. I waterskied, I cycled, I kayaked. It was fun.

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  23. This has been a year of discombobulation for me with family illnesses, a home renovation, a lot of travel, and more - and I haven't wanted to run very much either. I wonder if it's just part of feeling so busy, both physically and mentally, that deep down I want a break? There is more to come in the next couple of months, but after that, we'll see if my running desire comes back stronger. With all that you have going on, you might be in a similar situation...but whatever the case, don't force it. You're not a professional runner, this is for enjoyment - so run if you enjoy it but otherwise, don't. It's OK.

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    1. That's a really good word to describe how I feel! It's probably due to mental fatigue more than physical. If everything just calms down, I think I'll be OK. But...who am I kidding...calm? LOL.

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  24. I have definitely felt that way- especially when there were other stressful circumstances. The body sees running as a stress on the system too and can only take so much! It sounds like you've been doing a good job of honoring your body and it will let you know when it's ready to pick things up again.

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    1. I felt much better about it after just writing down my feelings. Funny how that works!

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  25. I definitely go through periods when I don't want to run! I think it's only normal to want a break :)

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    1. It definitely helps to hear that I am not the only one!

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  26. I'm sorry to hear that you've temporarily lost your running mojo. The good thing is (as you referenced) that it could be back tomorrow. What if you just try to run on the weekends for a while? It sounds like those runs are going okay and that way you won't feel like you not meeting your goals. Just a though...

    Thanks for the linkup!

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    1. Yeah, I've thought about sticking to weekends only. Lately, the weekends have been busy as well but they are getting better now.

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  27. I have definitely been in the spot where I don't want to run, mostly because of illness or injury that made running yet another stress in my life versus a relief from stress. Running has peaks and valleys, literally and metaphorically. Your mojo will return, I'm sure.

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    1. I hope so. It helps to hear it seems to affect others from time to time.

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  28. I've so been there, Holly! Especially in between races or during the really cold weather season. Sometimes I've forced myself to run. Now that I'm battling this lingering hip injury, I'm forcing myself to NOT run for the next month (or two)... and I'm kind of okay with it. Yet I just re-name by blog to "She Runs By Faith". RUNS. runs. But for the next 4 weeks, she won't RUN, which is okay, too :) My mind still runs plenty. hehe.

    Take a break and feel no guilt! Especially if you're mind/body/soul needs it. Biking is cool, too :)

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I enjoy reading your comments. Thanks for taking the time to leave one!