I've always chosen to cherish just a few good friends. It's never been necessary for me to have tons of people in my life. Life is already so busy with children and grandchildren.
The sad reality is that friends come and go. I've lost friends as the result of job changes, being busy with young children, or people moving away. A dear friend recently moved back to her home state after her husband passed away. She was such a positive person. I called her my little cheerleader. She always brightened my day and I miss her greatly.
I go through phases where life feels narrow. As busy as my life is, this actually sounds absurd to me. But it's true. That's why I really enjoyed getting into the local racing scene a few years ago. I ended up meeting some incredible women and enjoyed spending time with them. Having not raced much lately, I don't see these ladies very often. I'm narrowing myself again.
It's always been a little hard for me to reach out and make new friends. I still feel like the shy girl in the 4th grade with really big teeth and ugly glasses. But I do reach out! I ask people to do things. Most can't...or just don't. I get that we all have incredibly busy lives. In fact my job is so busy right now, I usually skip my lunch break. I do miss my lunch or coffee dates with friends. I'm narrowing myself again.
And then, there's this...I almost feel as if I get punished or perhaps turned away by some because I don't Facebook. {Oh, yeah...I forget you don't Facebook so you don't know blah, blah, blah.} It feels a little junior high school-ish to me. Sorry, I'm not a follower. Are the friends (or tags, or likes or followers) on social media the only ones that count? Is that the true measure of friendship these days? Is this narrowing me?
In an effort to connect with other women who run, I have this little blog. I feel I've connected with so many wonderful and strong women who get it. You get my crazy obsession. I actually met a couple of you this year which was a very special treat (Pam and Tricia). I hope I get to meet many others. I also hope you will continue to connect with me. Perhaps I'm widening.
Please visit Deb and the other participating bloggers. It's fun!
I had a strong group of women work friends once too. I miss that. My division was separated out years ago and is now very small. But I do consider my few co-workers friends. LOL -- I thought about how widening is usually NOT a good thing. I hope you stick around!
ReplyDeleteI love my blogger friends. And too hope to meet more of them.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'll have the opportunity to run in your area one day.
DeleteIt's a world that brings the most interesting & different people into your world... blogging is awesome!
ReplyDeleteTrue. It's a very diverse bunch with one thing in common.
DeleteAnd now that I know that you are close to eastern Alabama, I hope to meet you in person sometime soon!
ReplyDeleteI've run a lot of half marathons in GA, FL and AL. I'll have to keep tabs on where you'll be!
DeleteI think it's a natural inclination to narrow. Friendships definitely take nurturing and as time passes, some change and drift away. I don't think you're missing anything by not being on FB. Boo to those who make you feel excluded in that respect.
ReplyDeleteI'm really bad about getting too busy and focused on other things and not touching base with my friends. I need to work on that.
DeleteThis is so great and oh-so-true. While I have lots of acquaintances (from working in the public), I have very, very few close friends. If my circle were any smaller, it would be a dot. lol That's why I love blogging so much. I've met so many like-minded ladies! And had the great pleasure of meeting several--I'm so happy that one of them was you!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE that analogy. I have a dot of friends. Yes! I hope we'll meet again as you continue your half marathon quest.
DeleteI struggle with reaching out to new friends too. I'm so glad we were able to connect and I consider you a great friend because of it. I so enjoy our little chats about all kinds of things. I don't think it's how many friends you have but the quality of them :)
ReplyDeleteVery true. Quality over quantity. I may not FB, but as you know I love to text. LOL.
DeleteI like that term, "narrowing". I think I do that! I tend to crawl inside myself a lot. Putting myself out there with blogging has really helped me open up to new people and new possibilities.
ReplyDeleteI'm looking forward to meeting you in October, my friend!!!
I think we do this without realizing it and then suddenly...uh oh, where did everybody go? It's like tunnel vision sometimes. I can only focus on one thing. I have to step back and look around! 10 weeks. I'm excited! I think we will stay an extra day or two and do some sightseeing. You'll have to give me some tips.
DeleteIsn't if funny when people assume you know things about them based on what they posted on FB? Someone I know does this ALL THE TIME and I am just like, "no, dude, I don't follow you're every move there. I try to get info from people directly." (mostly, you know?) Cracks me up. I do have FB, but the more I stay off it, the happier I am. Do what works for you. With all of this!
ReplyDeleteIt's funny, for a long time I only had blogger friends! Then I had too many friends. Now I have my true friends. I am starting to go through the part of my life where I lose them (well, we aren't as close) cause we're changing, and that's hard. It feels odd to be so close... then not so much, anymore.
But the fact that you are thinking about narrowing means you are thinking about it and doing what works for YOU :)
Yes! They do assume you should know everything they've posted...and I don't drr any of it! I think the narrowing thing comes with age. Weed out the bad and keep the good. But you have to remember to be open to new people too.
DeleteWhat a nice post! I have loved meeting blogger friends over the last two years. Wish I were going to be in Chicago for the marathon so we could meet. Let me know if you're ever in the DC area for a race!
ReplyDeleteThanks for linking up!
Thanks, as always, for hosting this link. I will definitely look you up if I come your way. We were in DC last Spring actually.
DeleteI would, actually, like more friends. But it isn't always easy as you get older.
ReplyDeleteI resisted FB for a long time. It's allowed me to reconnect with people I'd list touch with a long time ago, with some relatives. It has its uses. But it's not THAT important!
I wouldn't have the time to spend with a big group of friends right now. I'm already sadly neglecting the ones I have. I can see where FB has its uses. But, there is life outside of FB and some people don't know that.
DeleteIt is hard to make and maintain friendships these days. As for Facebook, even though I am a Facebook junkie I don't share much about my personal life -- not the same stuff I'd share with a girlfriend over coffee. ;-)
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing better than chatting with a girlfriend, face to face, over coffee!
DeleteI have a Facebook account but log in about twice a year, and even that's too much. Why do I want to know about the daily musings of high school friends I haven't talked to in 25 years? I don't. I DO want to keep in touch with good friends who have moved away, but I just can't deal with the other FB noise. I much prefer connecting with you and other runners through our blogs. I'm grateful I've met so many wonderful people through blogging!
ReplyDeleteYes, you said it...too much noise. I'd rather NOT know every little thing. I prefer this too. There are some wonderful, strong, dedicated women runners out there...including YOU!
DeleteI've always found it hard to meet "true friends." I've kept the ones I have for such a long time, and I get scared to let new people into that circle sometimes. But, I noticed that with my close friends, they weren't always so happy about hearing my non stop talk about running...so I too started blogging for that reason. It's been really great to build relationships with other bloggers...hopefully I will meet some in real life too! I am on facebook, but I don't do a lot on facebook, and I don't put a lot of value into communicating with others on facebook, if that makes sense.
ReplyDeleteNone of my friends were runners. So I didn't even try to talk about running because they just couldn't relate. I love how my blogger buddies get it.
DeleteI hear ya when it comes to needing to do a little narrowing every now and then. I used to feel like I had to say yes to everything, whether I really wanted to or not. Now, I prioritize to make sure that I enjoy as much time with my diamonds while not spending too much precious time on my leaves. Time is precious and so are diamonds!
ReplyDeleteNarrowing can be a good thing. Sometimes I feel I go overboard and all of a sudden...where did everybody go? You've got to take a blower and get rid of those leaves! HA.
DeleteVery great post! I have to agree, I have met so many great online blogging friends, even if I haven't met any of them in person yet.
ReplyDeleteI really look forward to when I can race again, and meeting all my running blogger friends at different races around the country!
I hope you will be racing again soon. Let me know when head to the south! One day, I may be come your way too!
DeleteI relate to this very much. I find that the older that I get, the more introverted that I am. These days I also prefer spending time with just a few close friends rather than lots of casual friends. Quality over quantity, for sure!
ReplyDeleteFacebook has gone downhill, in my opinion. It used to be a great tool for staying in touch with friends, but these days it's filled with spam, sensationalism, complaining, and other unsavory stuff. So don't worry about not being on it - these days you aren't missing much!
A few good friends is all you need. I had gotten the feeling FB wasn't as great as everybody once thought. There will always be the next best thing too.
DeleteOne of the things I love about running and blogging is that we have met some great people at races and had alot of fun with them afterwards at meals etc. I also am older and don't need a huge number of friends, just some really good ones that are trustworthy!
ReplyDeleteYes, friends you can trust are priceless.
DeleteRunning is such a great way to create connections with others that spills over into the rest of your life. I also have a small group of close friends. It's hard when friends come and go in life, but that is part of life. I can be really awkward when making new friends, but once I get to know someone I'm more comfortable and more myself. But when I'm running it's completely different. I have no trouble talking to people then!
ReplyDeleteI'm like you, it takes me a while to be comfortable with someone.
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